There’s never anything quite as dramatic as returns. The prolonged absence, the possibility of change and the prospect of the unknown excite us in their implications. Waiting is a game of imagination, and the potential for a reversal — of any kind — is something of an indulgence.
Coming back to blogging is natural. It doesn’t feel like I’ve been gone for long. It’s just that there comes a time when a little distance is necessary, even beneficial, and it seems that I’ve reasonably met my time and dealt with it justly.
Life update: Half of the modules for my final year are officially done. I’ve completed the academic year of 2020/21. I am proud of myself for making it this far, also nervous about the final two modules left to go.
With my exams ending, I face the strange consequence of having more leisure time in my hands. The amount of reading demanded by an English degree results in days feeling like intercessions between blocks of words — word castles, fortified by theories so complex that they’re almost invisible in how finely they’ve been incorporated into the writing. Given that I’d cleared off the rest of my work two weeks before the exams, the sudden prospect of leisure time sits oddly on my shoulders.
While I had been fantasising about a state of unending ease and time for creative expression, most of my day is spent duly watching the minutes ticking to hours, at awe at the the fact that this could happen without any underlying repercussions of having work piled up under my nose. I suppose I’ll get used to it in a week or so.
On other news, we’re facing the insurgence of a third wave. A wave pushed by crappy politics and selective ignorance but a terribly frightening wave nonetheless; one that has pushed us right back to times of aching loneliness and state imposed curfews. However, this does not negate the fact that loneliness itself is a privilege. To whom staying at home is merely a choice, in contrast to the hundreds that face no alternative but to face the virus in head-on in their pursuit of their livelihoods, the ability to feel lonely is quite evidential of particularly rare brand of privilege. In a capitalistic world, views and circumstances warp each other in an unfair play of snakes and ladders, where we can only be ever so grateful to be anywhere but at the mouth of the snake…
Wishing safety and patience to all, may the best be with you
graze the stars 
Your point that loneliness is a privilege in these difficult times is utterly true. I love how you worded that and came to that conclusion.
Stay safe and take care of yourself! ❤
Thank you so much! It means so much to me!